Reuters, London: In a surprise move which has caught the world's revolutionaries completely off guard, Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger has made a public apology for his newspaper's recent coverage of Surrealism.
Said an ashen-faced Rusbridger, "Like a lot of complete ignoramuses I used to think that Surrealism created a new visual language of modernity. But since I started reading Surrealist blogs I have realised the error of my ways."
He went on: "In reparation for my crimes against the revolution I am placing my insufficiently left-of-centre daily newspaper at the disposal of the Surrealist movement. My first act of contrition will be to run a 14-page special feature on occultation."
There were unconfirmed reports last night that Robert Hughes had gone into hiding in a tree-house somewhere in Ghislaine Wood. Jonathan Jones, Germaine Greer and Ana Finel Honigman were all unavailable for comment, as indeed were The Observer, The Independent, The Sunday Times Style Magazine, Newsnight Review, Andrew Marr's Start the Week programme, and CBBC Newsround.