A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO THE VOTERS OF AMERICA

Still can't decide which dead horse to flog? SLAG is proud to offer its endorsement of the following candidates:


Mike Huckabee:

RELIGION. RABIES. REPRESSION.

Hi, I’m Mike Huckabee. This week I’ve personally saved 248 babies from death by abortion. They didn’t thank me, the ungrateful little fucks, but the doctors tell me that’s because foetuses don’t have cognitive skills. So what, I said, nor do my campaign team. At least these little shavers are all white, or pinkish-grey at the very worst. I ain’t saving no goddam (pardon my language ma’am) Democratic voters, no sirree bob.

Them goddam Yankees are even against my plans to strip illegals of their driving licences, lock them in unroadworthy vehicles without lights, and leave them on the California Freeway in the middle of the night. This rejection of traditional American values is out of step with the wishes of ordinary American evangelists who are just peacefully getting on with killing abortion doctors. My campaign for greater backwardness is meeting a response amongst good old folk like this lovely couple I met while stalking liberals back home in Arkansas (picture, right).

I believe in the unbridled growth of American children, and anyone who’s against this will feel Chuck Norris’ cold steel through their pinko guts. My economic plan for this great country is based on producing more films such as “Chuck Norris Tells Students to Vote Huckabee or He’ll Kill Them” (with a soundtrack of death metal bass guitar, written and played by me and my lovely family, because my family are the most important thing in the world to me outside of personal political power, and stockpiling more saved babies).

Vote Huckabee if you don’t want to see Chuck Norris run amok, skewering babies with a commando knife.

Vote Huckabee, because the only abortion I support is the Republican Party.



Mitt Romney:

So the other day this woman asks me why I would make a good President of the World. I said to them,
“I went to see the Queen.”
“And you lifted the siege?” she asks.
I did not care for her presumption. She says at once to me that he would make the first word from his mouth speak volumes. I said:
“But he cannot use his fingers!”
and she replied, with a smirk,
“You may be good at picking pockets, Mitt, but you ain't so good at picking whores.”

Vote for Mitt!

Vote McCain - Vote Undead:

For a new beginning from beyond the grave. Representing not just war veterans, but also the reanimated war dead. If you think I’m old, wait till my voters return from their graves, too.



Hillary Clinton:

Barack "Lucky" O'Bama:

I came from Srikakulam District in India (AL). I trained by three Gurujis in dangerous forests from 5years old. I had servere prayers and learning experience for jothikams, vashthu, for ten years.

You will come to know about your past, present and future by hand prediction, horoscope, intending persons may contct for job, family matters, education, business, marriage, sickness, promotions, visas, abroad, money etc. with craft will be cleane by performingpoojas and prayers and protection from enermies.

Also herbal and ayurvedic treatment for more than 360 kinds of diseases without any side effects.

ONE STOP BARGAIN SHOP
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, IL 60680
Opening Hours: 9.30 a.m. - 7.30 p.m.

Fred Thompson:

Click on the image to read Fred's message to the electorate

Rudy Giuliani:

I'll make you wish you'd changed your minds, douchebags!

These messages are endorsed by the SLAG Election Committee: Josie Malinowski, Merl, Nacho Díaz, Paul Cowdell and Stephen Maddison.

Clinton and Thompson collages by Stephen Maddison.