Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Boris Johnson Game

To celebrate the election of London's exciting new Mayor, we invite you to share the joy and play the Boris Johnson Game with us.

Watch this short (8-minute) video about life in Boris's London, and answer the following question:

What are the interesting scenes that pass by this particular example of the much-loved Routemaster bus?


Anonymous said...

Endless vistas of games without frontiers and children without boundaries?

Merl Fluin said...

The kid’s a ringer. He’s actually a member of the London Maquis. The Africans and the cripple are all in on it. As the bus passes through Henley they give a pre-arranged signal to a primary school playground full of children by the side of the road. At this a horde of screeching infants, all off their tits on strawberry meth, come tearing out of the school gates and blockade the zebra crossing. These bloodlust-crazed tots, who all tragically lack a father figure and whose Bacardi-addled mothers are at this moment lying low in tower blocks and making mobile phone video porn involving pygmy goats and re-useable carrier bags, are hell-bent on the destruction of civilisation. As the day wears on they erect a barricade across the zebra crossing which they decorate with crude drawings of Princess Diana on the toilet, the fabulous streets of the city of Kublai Khan, and their own hollow-eyed mothers grappling with a variety of livestock. They sing deranged songs of triumph, and roast chickens over open fires. More and more tragic tots come to join them until their numbers fill the streets as far as the eye can see. It’s like the march on Rome in 1922. Benefit-scrounging parents plead with them through megaphones to come home so that they can continue to claim their Asda vouchers and free tickets for The Lion King from the Association of Head Teachers, but the kids by this point are so fucked up on ice cream and cola that they simply jeer and throw stuff. A hail of board rubbers and pasta shapes rains down on the hapless adults, many of whom are seriously injured. By nightfall the kids are firmly in control of the streets of Henley. Meanwhile the Africans, the cripple and the undercover kid on the bus are making their way to a secret rendezvous point to launch the next phase in the strategy to liberate London.

Paul Cowdell said...

Anti-Colonial Liberation of Urges and Desires (A Cloud) Front: Memo

It's always the bloody same with these regional authorities. You ask to be dropped in London and they leave you in the middle of bloody nowhere. If they have to specify the airport's in London, it's probably because it's not. Customs wanted to deport us, but we distracted them with our barometric passports and escaped across the fields.

Gangs of urban troublemakers had been shipped out to these wild lands, but by combining their thought patterns they were able to divert London buses to come to their rescue. We easily recognised our comrades by the pre-arranged passwords ('There are times when friendly co-operation is specially necessary', to which came the correct response 'A cripple needs much kindness in his affliction').

We did not have to steer the bus, as the magnetic pull of Eros drew us closer and closer to the Mad and Astonished Heart. Eros has been shackled, and each bus ride takes us closer to his liberation. Not for nothing did we call our vehicle Champion.

One more effort, and London will be freed. Remember the long tasks and the revolutionary impatience to complete them contained within our slogan: 'Four long miles for fivepence'.